"Want to be a TV star?" they asked. "YEAH!!" says me with stars in my eyes, and visions of glamour gowns swirling on red carpet. A key word was missing...reality. I had no idea what I was getting into. Hearing about me through Karla Gilbert, This Time Next Year Australia was really keen to have me on the show so in February 2016 I flew down to Sydney for the goal setting part of my story.
It was only a day trip, so I had to be dressed and ready to go on stage before I got on the plane. What do you wear for something like that? When the nation is going to see you in a wheelchair? Thank goodness hair and makeup wasn’t part of my job.
I flew down with John, and we got to hang out in the green room with a few other participants before our interviews. Everyone kept their stories very quiet. I knew we had to keep our involvement under wraps for the year, but in the green room everyone kept their stories very quiet. We were all making pledges to achieve a big goal. Who knew where we’d be next year? If we’d make it?
My goal was pretty simple. At least it sounded simple. To walk. My therapy and training meant my focus was on me and my progress. I very rarely thought about the goal, or the show. I was pretty busy with the here and now. I knew I would walk. To get there in time for the show wasn’t a focus.
Or so I thought.
February 2017 came around pretty quickly. And I was walking. A little. With crutches. I flew Thursday for an early morning start. Hair and makeup takes ages?? Having the night before on my own was challenging. Reality started sinking in. Tomorrow…walk across the stage. Bright lights and cameras everywhere. Friends and family in the crowd. Who had never seen me walk.
How was I going to NOT fall flat on my face? To say I had a rough night is putting it lightly.
Next morning I got a chance to do a trial run. During the year we’d managed to find a pair of shoes that worked on my timber floors. Did that transfer to the high gloss stage? No. Did I know there was a plush rug to contend with as well? No. My anxiety levels kept rising. My right foot just would not get off the floor. I wasn’t going anywhere. All attempts ended up with me wearing a pair of black socks. Lovely with a cocktail dress. However, my right foot could slide.
Back to the green room I go. I knew John would stay behind the scenes, and I had Freeman and a couple of friends in the crowd. Which didn’t help much. I stand behind the closed doors. I can hear Karl and the audience, then the doors open, and everyone is clapping wildly, with a few tears welling. Including mine. The first person I see is of course Freeman. My anxiety levels? They kept rising.
“I am amazed I got across the stage. What a relief! One of the biggest challenges I’ve had on this journey, emotionally, even with all the moments I took to settle myself.”
I am amazed I got across the stage. What a relief! One of the biggest challenges I’ve had on this journey, emotionally, even with all the moments I took to settle myself. I did hear later that one friend had to be held back to stop from jumping up on stage to help me. Karl wasn’t far off doing the same.
It seemed to take forever for the show to air. A relief that I was on the first one. I was really quite nervous about my story airing across the nation. The build up was done so well…an ad break just before the doors opened? And of course they captured Freeman’s whispered encouragement. I was in floods of tears.
Am I glad I did it? Absolutely. The outpouring of support I’ve had from across the world continues to be phenomenal. A very humbling experience that I feel quite blessed to have been a part of. It’s inspired me. And made me appreciate how wonderful people are.
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